Funny paradox this is, attempting to communicate the wish to take myself out of the equation by writing about myself–life has its many ironies. I guess the main point is that I wish you to know that anything I post is truly for you, only for you, and I hope that if you click “like”, it is because that post speaks to or for some aspect of you. It’s hard to find the right words yet it’s important to me to share, that I believe Facebook can be a means of communicating without ego involved, just pure, direct communication without the bells and whistles. I know this can be true because I have seen it in so many of your wonderful loving, kind, selfless, posts and comments. In all honesty though, when it turns into anything else I just want to give myself a metaphorical scrub down, and then run far far away.
Given the number of posts (well pretty much only quotes, call a spade a spade) I’ve posted over the years you may be surprised to know that I would likely not hit a “like” button on Facebook as a whole.
Though I love you, I love the pictures of your babies, I love your words of wisdom, your tales of wonder, your causes, your passionate pleas, the support you show to one another, all of the pictures you’ve taken on your travels and I truly love that there exists a space where we can share these things …but that’s just it, I love your life, and I love life in general. I love that you are out in the world living it, not just home on your computer thinking about, critiquing or presenting it.
I love humanity, I love that we as humans can connect, not just virtually but deeply and profoundly with those all over the world— across language barriers, class barriers, social barriers, land locks and treacherous waters.
What I do not desire though is to turn this into a tool for idol worship or ego worship for branding or self-promotion. And I suppose I grow uneasy at it’s tendency to veer in that direction. In other words I do not want to feed any desire to be liked or “liked” or to otherwise take stock of my “worth”, and in fact the feeling that perhaps I have inadvertently entered into that game or am in anyway propagating it is what makes me wish to run far away.
In any case, these are very personal feelings, not judgements of anyone- I certainly believe everyone should feel out what is best for them. I suppose I am only attempting to shed what feels like false skin to me. Because I do like being able to check up on the well being of you all, because I do want to share those things which have given me some joy in the hopes that they might do the same for one of you, because I do wish for you to truly know that you are looked out for, looked after and appreciated for exactly who and what you are! And at the same time I wish to be completely free of what sometimes feels like a self-perpetuating, virtual-ego creating, machine. This message is anticlimactic I know, as I am not leaving Facebook in some dramatic effort to make my point, I simply wanted to shed some light on these thoughts and every once in a while I might throw out these words, as I would pebbles at some window, hoping eventually to shatter this facade…but always doing so with love and gratitude for your friendship and with wishes that perhaps something I share inspires you ❤